flowury:

i want to sit on a kitchen counter in my underwear at 3 am with you and talk about the universe

clannyphantom:

when people try to argue with you about something you clearly know more about
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tastefullyoffensive:

[lknodecaf]

budweiner:

When you get shouted at for accidentally doing something bad

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donutsornonuts:

We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.

hemidemisplemmyquaver:

I don’t think google gets enough credit sometimes

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

thats-slightly-raven:

People who have a superiority complex based on their enjoyment of vintage music or books are some of the most annoying people in the world and if I ever hear you ridiculing someone just because they may not enjoy listening to the beatles whilst reading to kill a mockingbird and sipping a cup of hibiscus green tea i will literally come to your house and staple your nipples to your elbows 

backdoorteenmom:

the-fake-commander-shepard:

My parents are lucky I was too lazy to go through a rebellious phase

srsfunny:

The World Definitely Needs A Reboot
http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

queentinabelcher:

Alcohol vs marijuana